Where Have I been?

Where have I been these past two months? Seems as though I lost focus on what I set my heart and mind out to do.
I believe God has really been dealing with me and increasing my understanding just to get to know Him more, in all retrospect He has been teaching me HUMILITY. In teaching me that He has begun to break me in ways that I thought I was already broken.
But, to my surprise I was not broken enough.

What is Humility? According to google, Humility is a deposition to be humbled.

What does the Word say about Humility? Proverbs 15:33- The fear of the Lord is the instruction of Wisdom, before honor is Humility.

I had to look at my recent experiences in a way of me not fearing the things God was showing me and telling me. I was acting rebellious and acting as though I did not hear or see God. But the hard thing through it all was, when I wanted God to hear me and show himself to me, it was as though He turned His ear and face from me. Showing me, that if I wanted His presence bad enough then I wouldn't stop seeking Him no matter how I felt. For my God is a Jealous God. All the while He was trying and wanting to converse with me, but I wasn't listening. When I wanted to listen, no words were being said, the feeling, the anxiety I felt. God just hear me and answer my prayer. But, what prayer was a I praying? Regardless of my situation, was I praying for my situation or for my repentance, for my deliverance, for my ears to be open, for my knees to become broken? NO I was praying for my situation.

God revealed unto my natural Father, HUMILITY! God wants to teach me Humility before He can honor me. I need to Fear the One and Truly Living God, so I can and will become Humbled.