Today was such an interesting today, started off with a quick conversation with my boss, in which she asked how I was feeling, I responded saying I was feeling good and I was able to eat the foods on my diet plan again and keep it down, and that I believe that wreak shook up digestive nerves. She responded and said she was glad I was able to eat, and too bad I had to get banged up in order for that to happen, pray fully this is what you need to shake that stuff loose. I responded and said that sometimes a bang is needed to shake some stuff loose, I take it as a awakening from God, cause he surely has my ATTENTION now. That’s when it hit me. MY SHAKENING and AWAKENING from God. It wasn’t just a wreak any more God was shaking some things up in my life, and in my body. But, through all of this I must be obedient and take heed to what God is preparing me for and stray not away from it! My moment of solace came I just prayed and really cried out to God.
As the day continued on something interesting took place, with the rental car that I have its been really hard getting one of my residents in and out of it, so today as we were leaving Barnes & Nobles, I looked at her and said we are going to ask God to help make this easier for us. So we prayed and said God please help us to get in the car today with no trouble, as we were getting ready to place her legs in the car, God did such that, got her legs in with no problem. I immediately said Hallelujah.
A lot of times we want God to show up in the big things, but what about the small things, this to me was such a blessing and God truly did His thing. May not be impressive to some but it was impressive to me. He can show up wherever you need Him to show up, He says ask and it shall be given to you. (Matthew 7:7). And that is in fact what I did, and to have done in the present of my resident was amazing as well, just to show Godly character around her was important, so she could witness God can do anything!
As the day closes, I reflect on that conversation with my dad, as we were talking about covering, I told him I had to repent because I took advantage of the covering I had and when I got out from under the covering I stumbled upon some territory in which I knew I was not to be anywhere near, and I started straying…Covering is so important!! But as we were talking I said Dad I can ‘t keep saying I’m going through cause it is not right because this world is meaningless, God has me facing stuff for reason and purpose and it is up to me to get the revelation out of it, I told him I will now say God is preparing me and therefore I am in a preparation stage, because after my preparation stage I will enter a revelation stage, and then I will be at the destination stage!!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
A call Away
Man the way I felt when I awoke Tuesday morning was indescribable, I honestly needed a friend right then and there, and I was hitting dead ends when it came to that friend. Soon my father called just in the nick of time, and 31 minutes with him to be exact, was truly all I needed. Man the way God’s presence showed up and how HIS divine anointing came through that phone, was like a dip in water. Man, just brings tears to my eyes as I think about. But, that goes to show how truly AMAZING GOD is…how can you not want to know such a GOD as He?
After that phone call I was literally on a spiritual high, I mean the tongues were flowing and the songs of worship were being played in my head, I just knew God was with me despite my downfalls and mistakes. I later thought as I was waiting for my rental car! Yes the girl that hit me insurance came through and granted me a rental car that would be ready by 12 noon…Thank you God! But as I awaited for it to be ready, I said God what must I do to stay here and keep this high? He said my child, you must seek, pray, meditate and gain control of what is important!!! Now just 20 mins before that my dad was just speaking with me about the message he taught this past Sunday, and the message entailed that we as individuals need to REFOCUS and gain control, get back to that center, the center being the HOLY SPIRIT, and when we refocus and meditate on the Holy Spirit then everything else will be covered!! It was one of those moments where I could only shake my head and say Thank ya!
After that phone call I was literally on a spiritual high, I mean the tongues were flowing and the songs of worship were being played in my head, I just knew God was with me despite my downfalls and mistakes. I later thought as I was waiting for my rental car! Yes the girl that hit me insurance came through and granted me a rental car that would be ready by 12 noon…Thank you God! But as I awaited for it to be ready, I said God what must I do to stay here and keep this high? He said my child, you must seek, pray, meditate and gain control of what is important!!! Now just 20 mins before that my dad was just speaking with me about the message he taught this past Sunday, and the message entailed that we as individuals need to REFOCUS and gain control, get back to that center, the center being the HOLY SPIRIT, and when we refocus and meditate on the Holy Spirit then everything else will be covered!! It was one of those moments where I could only shake my head and say Thank ya!
A different Awakening
In this post and the next to follow, I will be sharing this past week experiences. Monday my goodness a day where my nerves were completely shaken in a way that was so traumatic, but through meditation and comfort I saw it as a spiritual shaking.
Let me back up, I had started doing a 3 day detox on Friday and man I was not feeling it the moment it started, but with my digestive tract getting off TRACK I had to suck it up and do it. So by Monday I was so warned down and pooped (lol), I was barely moving, I had even lost my voice. But I was hoping when I ate that that detox wouldn't be in vain.
So that Monday morning I started my day off with a biscuit(wrong food) and some juice. So far so good, I arrive at work and everything is still staying down, so I'm like yes it worked. At 11am I arrive at the office to meet with my boss and we conversed and such. So now I'm off to meet one of my staff for a drop off at 12 of one of my residents. I called my staff to see where they needed to meet at but no answer so I figured that I would pull over and wait for my staff to call back before I got completely on the other side of town. Here's when the SHAKEN OF MY NERVES CAME. I pull into the turning lane and BOOM!!!! I got hit on the right side of my car by another vehicle!!! All I could do was sit there take off my seat belt and open the door and throw my head back. The girl from the other car came around to my side and she was asking repeatedly was I okay?? Then she said can I pray with you, I immediately said sure. Right after she prayed, I had to throw up so I was like excuse me and I threw up. Right then the girl who just got finish praying with me CURSED, she was oh F*** oh S*** I'm like well Lawd I guess God want be answering that prayer. So I prayed to oneself to keep me covered.
Monday what a day, My awakening that I needed came but not in the way that I expected but that is how God works sometimes. As I made it through the check out process at the hospital and awaited for my ride, I just sobbed for a bit, I was just in awe of what had happened and just kept thanking God through it all. I finally made it home no car, could hardly eat, and no FAMILY, and that is what hurt me more. My family was a good 3 hours away, and I was going through this alone so to say.
Later that evening I went through an experience of contemplating breaking a vow that I had made and even played with the fire of that vow, but I knew I shouldn’t be entertaining it, so I removed myself from it. But, why was it hitting me then, I asked myself. I was just so weak and broken, and not in the way that God breaks you, but broken in my emotions so I was feeling pity for myself so to say.
I really did not know what to do at this point, I just wonder why my sickness wanted to act up and have me feeling like I was feeling, and why I was so estranged from my relationship, and why in the world did this accident have to happen to me....
Let me back up, I had started doing a 3 day detox on Friday and man I was not feeling it the moment it started, but with my digestive tract getting off TRACK I had to suck it up and do it. So by Monday I was so warned down and pooped (lol), I was barely moving, I had even lost my voice. But I was hoping when I ate that that detox wouldn't be in vain.
So that Monday morning I started my day off with a biscuit(wrong food) and some juice. So far so good, I arrive at work and everything is still staying down, so I'm like yes it worked. At 11am I arrive at the office to meet with my boss and we conversed and such. So now I'm off to meet one of my staff for a drop off at 12 of one of my residents. I called my staff to see where they needed to meet at but no answer so I figured that I would pull over and wait for my staff to call back before I got completely on the other side of town. Here's when the SHAKEN OF MY NERVES CAME. I pull into the turning lane and BOOM!!!! I got hit on the right side of my car by another vehicle!!! All I could do was sit there take off my seat belt and open the door and throw my head back. The girl from the other car came around to my side and she was asking repeatedly was I okay?? Then she said can I pray with you, I immediately said sure. Right after she prayed, I had to throw up so I was like excuse me and I threw up. Right then the girl who just got finish praying with me CURSED, she was oh F*** oh S*** I'm like well Lawd I guess God want be answering that prayer. So I prayed to oneself to keep me covered.
Monday what a day, My awakening that I needed came but not in the way that I expected but that is how God works sometimes. As I made it through the check out process at the hospital and awaited for my ride, I just sobbed for a bit, I was just in awe of what had happened and just kept thanking God through it all. I finally made it home no car, could hardly eat, and no FAMILY, and that is what hurt me more. My family was a good 3 hours away, and I was going through this alone so to say.
Later that evening I went through an experience of contemplating breaking a vow that I had made and even played with the fire of that vow, but I knew I shouldn’t be entertaining it, so I removed myself from it. But, why was it hitting me then, I asked myself. I was just so weak and broken, and not in the way that God breaks you, but broken in my emotions so I was feeling pity for myself so to say.
I really did not know what to do at this point, I just wonder why my sickness wanted to act up and have me feeling like I was feeling, and why I was so estranged from my relationship, and why in the world did this accident have to happen to me....
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Gone To Long
Where have I been? Although God has been placing things in my spirit I have yet to share it...
This past week has been so hard, I can't exactly put my finger on it, but, its like I'm in a field and there is no supply of water/food to help me, in a field where there is no one around...I've come to realize I feel like this because I'm looking for the means of people to be my way of escape and comfort and the need of water and food to be my nourishment. That is not what God wants from me. He has me here and my feelings because deep down I know that I need to be turning to Him through it all, the good and the bad. I can't look for people to be my means of escape because they to are flesh just like I am, they could verily well feel like I'm feeling, and if that becomes the case who is going to help who....
I got in my car today, and looked in the backseat I saw my black pocketbook and I knew what was in there. My WORD, My, HELP, My COMFORT, My PRESENT, FUTURE and PAST HELP, My SOURCE. I teared up...I just begin to say these words, "Your changing everything, one, two, three, your changing everything in me." As I said those words I said the change starts NOW not when I pick My source up, but when I say God Change Everything in ME. We as people can read our BIBLES all day everyday but if we are not reflecting what we are reading in our daily natures and in our spiritual growth, whom is it benefiting. Definitely not yourself or the people around you.
I realized at that moment, although God keeps opening my eyes day after day and giving me revelation, if I'm not studying my word and seeking Him earnestly, I will soon start to miss what God is showing me, and soon start to fall into a fleshly nature, and feel like I felt today and this past week....
James 4:8- Draw nigh to God, and he will nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. James 4:10- Humbles yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
Dear God,
We just thank you for being who you are and being true to your WORD, God I ask that you just open the eyes of the people and open their ears to hear. We have to start there, we have to start by asking God to open up the senses that need to be opened to get closer to you, that way when we Open our HEARTS, we will open them will everlasting love...
This past week has been so hard, I can't exactly put my finger on it, but, its like I'm in a field and there is no supply of water/food to help me, in a field where there is no one around...I've come to realize I feel like this because I'm looking for the means of people to be my way of escape and comfort and the need of water and food to be my nourishment. That is not what God wants from me. He has me here and my feelings because deep down I know that I need to be turning to Him through it all, the good and the bad. I can't look for people to be my means of escape because they to are flesh just like I am, they could verily well feel like I'm feeling, and if that becomes the case who is going to help who....
I got in my car today, and looked in the backseat I saw my black pocketbook and I knew what was in there. My WORD, My, HELP, My COMFORT, My PRESENT, FUTURE and PAST HELP, My SOURCE. I teared up...I just begin to say these words, "Your changing everything, one, two, three, your changing everything in me." As I said those words I said the change starts NOW not when I pick My source up, but when I say God Change Everything in ME. We as people can read our BIBLES all day everyday but if we are not reflecting what we are reading in our daily natures and in our spiritual growth, whom is it benefiting. Definitely not yourself or the people around you.
I realized at that moment, although God keeps opening my eyes day after day and giving me revelation, if I'm not studying my word and seeking Him earnestly, I will soon start to miss what God is showing me, and soon start to fall into a fleshly nature, and feel like I felt today and this past week....
James 4:8- Draw nigh to God, and he will nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. James 4:10- Humbles yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
Dear God,
We just thank you for being who you are and being true to your WORD, God I ask that you just open the eyes of the people and open their ears to hear. We have to start there, we have to start by asking God to open up the senses that need to be opened to get closer to you, that way when we Open our HEARTS, we will open them will everlasting love...
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Fast
Through this fast, we were to set our hearts and minds on God and draw near to him, and get rid of the distractions I have done the opposite, forgiveness I ask of you, and a strong conviction to come upon me each and every day to remind me that I have to do your will first and foremost my plans should start with your plans and my ways should be of your ways…and that is that. I’m sorry Lord; I feel in my heart that I need to take the fast a step further and longer to really see you move in my life and makes some changes and move things around. And God I will do just that so after the month of February is gone, I ask that you bring all things back to remembrance and put a charge on me to take this stand and draw closer to you, so that you can reveal your plans and purpose for my life, AMEN! Feb. 22, 2011
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Today
Just learning to pray and seek God earnestly. Learning to die to my flesh, my thoughts, my emotions, for these things are subjected MY! What are your thoughts God, your Emotions God. I want to be like you walking in your image in your instructions, under your guidance. God teach me how to get there, How can I walk in your prosperity, so the people I connect with can lock on and grab hold to it. God we need true worshipers, praise leaders, intercessors, standing in need of the lost souls.
This walk with God is not easy, but ITS SO WORTH IT. He is so awesome. Just keeping you here is a Miracle and Grace in itself. Thank you God.
This walk with God is not easy, but ITS SO WORTH IT. He is so awesome. Just keeping you here is a Miracle and Grace in itself. Thank you God.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Where Have I been?
Where have I been these past two months? Seems as though I lost focus on what I set my heart and mind out to do.
I believe God has really been dealing with me and increasing my understanding just to get to know Him more, in all retrospect He has been teaching me HUMILITY. In teaching me that He has begun to break me in ways that I thought I was already broken.
But, to my surprise I was not broken enough.
What is Humility? According to google, Humility is a deposition to be humbled.
What does the Word say about Humility? Proverbs 15:33- The fear of the Lord is the instruction of Wisdom, before honor is Humility.
I had to look at my recent experiences in a way of me not fearing the things God was showing me and telling me. I was acting rebellious and acting as though I did not hear or see God. But the hard thing through it all was, when I wanted God to hear me and show himself to me, it was as though He turned His ear and face from me. Showing me, that if I wanted His presence bad enough then I wouldn't stop seeking Him no matter how I felt. For my God is a Jealous God. All the while He was trying and wanting to converse with me, but I wasn't listening. When I wanted to listen, no words were being said, the feeling, the anxiety I felt. God just hear me and answer my prayer. But, what prayer was a I praying? Regardless of my situation, was I praying for my situation or for my repentance, for my deliverance, for my ears to be open, for my knees to become broken? NO I was praying for my situation.
God revealed unto my natural Father, HUMILITY! God wants to teach me Humility before He can honor me. I need to Fear the One and Truly Living God, so I can and will become Humbled.
I believe God has really been dealing with me and increasing my understanding just to get to know Him more, in all retrospect He has been teaching me HUMILITY. In teaching me that He has begun to break me in ways that I thought I was already broken.
But, to my surprise I was not broken enough.
What is Humility? According to google, Humility is a deposition to be humbled.
What does the Word say about Humility? Proverbs 15:33- The fear of the Lord is the instruction of Wisdom, before honor is Humility.
I had to look at my recent experiences in a way of me not fearing the things God was showing me and telling me. I was acting rebellious and acting as though I did not hear or see God. But the hard thing through it all was, when I wanted God to hear me and show himself to me, it was as though He turned His ear and face from me. Showing me, that if I wanted His presence bad enough then I wouldn't stop seeking Him no matter how I felt. For my God is a Jealous God. All the while He was trying and wanting to converse with me, but I wasn't listening. When I wanted to listen, no words were being said, the feeling, the anxiety I felt. God just hear me and answer my prayer. But, what prayer was a I praying? Regardless of my situation, was I praying for my situation or for my repentance, for my deliverance, for my ears to be open, for my knees to become broken? NO I was praying for my situation.
God revealed unto my natural Father, HUMILITY! God wants to teach me Humility before He can honor me. I need to Fear the One and Truly Living God, so I can and will become Humbled.
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